I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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