im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
