I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
