Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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