Since when is my name a synonym for head?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I didn't notice because vodka
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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