When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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