i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
