She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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