Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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