to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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