her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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