we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
