Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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