just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
