wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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