its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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