420 ftw
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
do herpes really smell.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
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Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
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I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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