It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
