so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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