i was born a porn star she said
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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