I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Shame - the story of my life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
