"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
