I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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