SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
