You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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