You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
