i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
