I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
