Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
