And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
