The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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