i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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