Already got asked if we're dating
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
