the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Randomize