he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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