Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We need to rekindle our bromance
you win again, gameday.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
