Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
