my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
