we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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