I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
