Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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