We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
