i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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