I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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