I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
