How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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