Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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