Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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