I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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