So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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