i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
