I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
