spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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