how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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