Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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