Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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