Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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