I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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