I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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